‘Elder’ as a verb

A peculiar feature of Quaker speech is the use of elder as a verb, usually for critical advice or a reprimand given by one Friend to another for inappropriate or un-Quakerly behavior.  When I first became familiar with this usage years ago, I took it to be a colloquialism bordering on slang and intended as mildly humorous — a way of poking fun at sanctimonious elders who found fault a little too easily. It was striking, therefore, to notice more recently that Friends were often using the verb elder in a much more serious way, for the general practice of acting as an elder in meeting — a practice that might occasionally include appropriate and lovingly offered criticism, but which (one hopes) would not consist primarily of fault-finding.  When I first heard an announcement for a “workshop on eldering,” the effect was quite incongruous, almost as though someone had announced a “workshop on belly-aching.”

It turns out my impressions about this word were not entirely accurate. My first hint that the more serious usage of elder was not as recent as I supposed was a brief note in the minutes of Blue River Quarterly Meeting (of Illinois Yearly Meeting) from 1956:

Following the Meeting for Business, Blue River Quarterly Meeting heard two talks by Ralph A. Rose, Associate Secretary, Friends World Committee — one in the afternoon, and one in the evening.  The first was on “The Lost Art of Eldering” and the second on “The World Community of Friends”.

Minutes of Blue River Quarterly Meeting, entry for 2 mo. 4, 1956

In investigating further, the earliest occurrence of elder as a verb that I have found is from 1829, in an article criticizing Edward Hicks:

He possessed a strong aversion to the counsel and admonition of those who were older and more experienced than himself; if any eldering was necessary, he wished it to be done by his juniors, whom he could in return mould into his own views.

The Miscellaneous Repository vol. 3, no. 7, p. 98

(I am not sure who this article was written by; the only indication of authorship is “N.”  The Miscellaneous Repository was edited and published by Elisha Bates.) A few more representative quotes will illustrate how this term was used in the 19th century:

He then proceeded to inform me that he had had some difficulty in getting the chapel for us, ‘For,’ said he, ‘the chaplains, who usually officiate here, do not believe in women preaching, but I pleaded hard, and they consented on condition that I should examine your sermon beforehand, and see whether it was suitable, and now you have not got it ready; will you please to tell me what you are going to say? Our chaplains cannot understand what a woman can have to say to all these men.’ A little more in this new style of eldering I received from him, as to be so kind as to begin promptly and not sit still long, and to conclude in time to be at his house to dine at two o’clock.

Life and Letters of Elizabeth Comstock, p. 138 (1895, quoting a letter from 1863)

Sixth-day afternoon we took the cars, they for Albany and I for Vermont, but we were going some miles the same road. — — beckoned me to take a seat by his side and said, “Thou handed out pretty strong meat today.” I replied I was not aware of it. He said “Thee did,” but, added he, “I have full unity with all thee had to say, for I believe it is truth; but we ought to be careful, for the people cannot bear it; they are not prepared to receive it.” This talk unlocked to view all that I cared about knowing. I had supposed that a minister of the gospel ministered according to the present anointing, and that it was his business to attend to that without considering whether it would please or displease, or whether they would applaud or gnash on him with their teeth; and the minister who takes the other course I think a moral coward. At any rate I do not think the eldering has done me any good, but has left a disagreeable savor.

Memoirs of the Life and Religious Labors of Sunderland P. Gardner, p. 193 (1895, entry from 1866)

In Comstock’s and Gardner’s examples, the idea of criticism — especially undue criticism — is clearly present.  But some other examples use elder in a much more positive sense:

Here is a kindly piece of “eldering” which may be useful beyond the diocese of Exeter: –

“In the course of years a man’s preaching suffers very seriously — all the more seriously because he himself, very likely, does not notice the gradual deterioration — if he allows himself to fancy that he already knows enough, and that all he has to do is to communicate that which in his early days he had stored up in his mind. Nothing can be a greater mistake, and I am certain that when a clergyman in mature years is complained of as being dry or dull — a complaint that we sometimes hear — it arises much more often from the fact that he has disused the quiet and living study of the Bible than from any other cause.”

John Taylor, ‘The Church Lectionary’, Friends Quarterly Examiner vol. 51, p. 429 (1879)

Note that in this example, the word eldering is in quotes, indicating, I think, that it was recognized as colloquial, or at least as not standard English. Many other authors also put it in quotes:

One member cannot suffer without all the members suffering; and it is a painful fact that very often tedious and prolix speakers have been allowed to speak, year by year, without adding anything to the Church, except weariness and the exercise of the gift of patience, while fresh living testimonies, and beginnings of ministries, that should have been welcomed, have been discouraged and “eldered,” because some shibboleth of speech or appearance was wanting.

Helen B. Harris, ‘The Supremacy of Christ in his Church, with Especial Reference to the Question of Worship’, Friends Review vol. 40, no. 48, p. 754 (1887)

“Eldering” by spiritual novices has put out many a tiny spark which might otherwise have become “a burning and shining light.”

Alfred William Brown, ‘Young People and the Society: The Question Viewed from the English Standpoint’, Friends Intelligencer and Journal vol. 48, no .12/vol. 19, no. 947, p. 180 (1891)

It should be noticed that in all these examples, whether eldering is understood as harmful criticism or as helpful advice, it is something which is directed specifically toward ministers, concerning their speaking in meeting. This is not surprising, given that the official charge of meeting elders was “to advise and assist those who may be concerned to minister among us, and in love caution them respecting such mistakes, either in judgment or expression, to which, through human frailty, even good men may sometimes be incident” (Book of Extracts p. 144).

But at least by the late 19th century, elder was being used in a broader sense, so that all kinds of behavior could be “eldered” and not just spoken ministry. An early illustration of this comes from A.E. Wetherald’s short story ‘How the Modern Eve Entered Eden’, published in Canadian Monthly and National Review in 1882 (vol. 8, p. 133.):

‘Thee is a reckless youth, nephew Philip,’ said she, ‘I fear I shall have to give thee an eldering.’

‘An eldering, Aunt Ruth? Do you mean to chastise me with a branch of elder bush?’

‘No, no, foolish boy! Whenever the giddy young people of our society misbehave themselves, the elders in the meeting are constrained to admonish them. That is what some among us call an ‘eldering.”

A.E. Wetherald

Of course this example is from fiction, but Agnes Ethelwyn Wetherald (1857–1940) was brought up in a Quaker family and educated at the Friends Boarding School in Union Springs, N.Y.; she would have had a good grasp of Quaker usage.   (Her father, William Wetherald, was a well-known Friends minister, founder of Rockwood Academy, and superintendent of Haverford College.)